April 26 2010, 09:06:57 #1803 [Y/N 0 Agree] [Y/N 0 S] [Y/N 0 T] [@]
http://www.cnngo.com/bangkok/none/dont-call-me-lesbian-tomdee-culture-thailand-176517 [link]
Arm in arm, two girls shuffle through the Siam Square shopping plaza, checking out a row of stalls selling lipstick and neon sunglasses.
Leading the way is Sudtida Vitoonkaewsiri, femme and perky, dyed locks curling at her bare shoulders. Dutifully carrying her purse is Sujintorn Buawan, broad-shouldered, boyish bangs swept to the side.
Similar girl-girl couplings can be found all over the city. But please, don’t call them lesbians. They prefer less general monikers, more specifically 'toms' for tomboys and 'dees' for ladies.
“A tom? You foreigners might call her a ‘lesbian’,” says Sudtida, while sweetly caressing Sujintorn’s palm. “But it’s different here. A tom is a woman who behaves like a man. They’re exactly like boys, only their bodies aren’t the same.”
To be a 'tom' is to adopt the male gender role completely: wearing jeans and T-shirts, binding breasts to their chest and refusing, even in the bedroom, to disrobe and shatter the illusion of maleness. To be 'dee' is to girl-it-out to the max: lipstick, sparkly handbags and heels.
A tom is like a guy -- but way better, say dees. Toms take them shopping, carry their bags and, in the bedroom, focus exclusively on pleasuring their dee. Returning an intimate touch to the tom is forbidden.
[continues at link]
Replies: 15
April 27 2010, 11:12:49 #1807 [Y/N 0 Agree] [Y/N 0 S] [Y/N 0 T] [@]
"Toms take them shopping, carry their bags and, in the bedroom, focus exclusively on pleasuring their dee. Returning an intimate touch to the tom is forbidden."
Selfishness to the max, woo.
April 27 2010, 13:14:38 #1808 [Y/N 0 Agree] [Y/N 0 S] [Y/N 0 T] [@]
@1807 But the dude-lady wants to do that, so what's wrong with it?
April 27 2010, 20:30:03 #1812 [Y/N 0 Agree] [Y/N 0 S] [Y/N 0 T] [@]
Nothing's wrong with it, but no one-sided relationship can be that awesome.
May 11 2010, 13:51:18 #1848 [Y/N 0 Agree] [Y/N 0 S] [Y/N 0 T] [@]
lols. Problem is the Tom doesn't get much out of it.
May 11 2010, 14:26:41 #1849 [Y/N 0 Agree] [Y/N 0 S] [Y/N 0 T] [@]
@1848 That seems to be what they want though... can't really imagine that myself, but if that's what they want I guess it's cool.
May 14 2010, 01:32:39 #1852 [Y/N 0 Agree] [Y/N 0 S] [Y/N 0 T] [@]
@1849 Is that really what they want though? The last section about returning the favor in bed suggested that it is more the culture and the "acceptable" or "proper" thing to do, not necessarily what either the tom or dee REALLY want.
May 16 2010, 14:44:16 #1853 [Y/N 0 Agree] [Y/N 0 S] [Y/N 0 T] [@]
The impression that I got was that lesbianism was ok in Thailand and this tom-dee lifestyle is just a popular alternative.
May 24 2010, 00:21:27 #1857 [Y/N 1 Agree] [Y/N 0 S] [Y/N 0 T] [@]
actually what the article indicates is that lesbianism is ok as long as its this, and they are just starting to see an alternate way it could go.
May 24 2010, 16:13:00 #1859 [Y/N 0 Agree] [Y/N 0 S] [Y/N 0 T] [@]
@1858 Well that's exactly what I - @1852 - was trying to say.
June 2 2010, 23:48:49 #1861 [Y/N 0 Agree] [Y/N 0 S] [Y/N 0 T] [@]
I was just in Thailand, and I totally saw Tom/Dee pairs.